Pudu jail photos

out all the time

I haven't written for a long time and the time hasn't been going smoothly. I'm still suffering and for no reason I'm really really tired...

Well no surprise since I haven't stayed at home to just surf the internet for like a long long long long time. It started last week that I've been going out for the whole day and not returning home untill late at night. I went to KLCC on Friday and then Midvalley on Saturday, and thinking about midvalley definitely makes me smile (those that knows the truth you will know why).


Then on Sunday I went to Loshana's and Shanthi's house where I laughed my ass off with my long-time-no-hang-out friends.

Monday was as usual only I stayed back a little later before going home. Then on Tuesday, class ended at 12pm but I stayed back to film that stupid video with the irritating people. And of course on Wednesday I couldn't go home because I need to stay and help out with the editing of the video.

And finally today, class got canceled and I didn't go home instead I went to Jun xiong's house to admire his desktop. Don't bother thinking that I will stay at home tomorrow because I'll be going out for a fine dining session and then head to KLCC where the others are gathering for some window shopping...

*sign I'm tired but I'm making myself more tired rather then resting...

What I am going to do??

My parents just purchased a new phone that is of no brand. Its made in China and a touch screen that costs only RM400. Ya, I know cheap, but what about the radiation that phone emmits??

I just can't believe it! my parents just bought the phone without even talking to me! I'm the one that knows the latest technology and that which is more reliable! But no! they didn't even talk to me or just plain tell me until they brought the damn thing home!!!!

Everyday they tell me not to sit too near the tv because it isn't healthy or don't face the TV or the notebook (BAby Kimmy) so much or put the notebook outside the room or switch off the main switch when you're not watchding the tv. And now they themselves bought a phone that emmits high radiation!!

There is one thing that I learned while growing up is to practice what you preach. I've always been angry whenever they don't do as they taught me too and now this situation just pisses me off. I don't even care about my vow to never ever say a curse word now I just want to shout it out!!!

They want to get cancer fine, I'm still young I don't want to die so soon!!!!

complicated

When did my family became so complicated? All my life I grew up alone I have no one to play with when I was a toddler and I have no one to talk to when I was a secondary school student. I can be considered luckier then an average person but the luck is only limited to that, it meant that I can never be a winner in any lucky draw games.

I have an almost average family, the only different is that my siblings are more then 20 years older then me and I have a bonus mother which I have never met. But I never thought that my almost average family is the real problem for me. As I say I grew up alone, so when there is a family affair I have to deal with it myself and alone, I can't expect help from anybody at all. Can anyone imagine what it is like to be stuck between arguing parents all alone and almost going crazy?

weakling

I am so weak!! I can't watch horror movies because I would get nightmares at night. I can't watch scenes that includes cutting human flesh because in my imagination I can actually feel the pain. I can even look at things that are ugly because it creeps me out, I just saw a picture of a breast with holes in it because the parasite in the bra attack it and now I'm actually feeling like my skin is all crawly and creepy because of it. I don't even know if that is real, I didn't even look properly at it and I've deleted it, even that few seconds of it that image is stuck in my brain and making me feel like crying.

I'm always the weak person in the group, in group discussions I can't contribute much because I haven't got any interesting points to help with the assignments and I'm always the only one that fails in the group. I can't watch horror movies and I can't do assignments well, then what exactly am I good at?!?!

Why am I always the weak one? Can't I be the strong and smart one??

I wish

I think I am the worst person in the world. I don't know how to do my work but I refuse to ask advice from others. When it comes to passing up assignments I would always pass up a few days late. Uni life is worst then foundation. I love foundation year but now I'm seriously thinking if I really am suitable to study Mass Comm, I have officially lost interest. But there isn't another subject that I think I can study, so I'm going to have to stick with it even though I can't take it anymore.

I don't really think I have lost interest in the course I think I've just lost interest in the subjects. Just because I fail 2 subjects I've totally gave up. I think I'm going to fail 3 subjects now since I didn't do the exercise properly.

long time

I haven't been posting anything on my blog since a looooooong lonng time ago, had a problem with my baby kimi and posting. I'm just going to ignore it.

I have to say, being a degree student is fustrating, I think I am the worst student UniSA has ever had. My assignments are imcomplete and I never past them up on time. I think I have even forgotten how to past them up in AssignIT. I have to work harder, but you know me, I only say it but I don't do it. That's why I'm still writing this post when I have to past up assignments on Monday. I'm lazy, I know and I'm also dumb. I don't have the intelligence of Ruby, Shanthi, Nicholas and Co.. I only know how to piggy back on my team mates and I feel so guilty about it. Well even if I do help I would only make things worst. Just think of me as Xiang Qing in It Started With A Kiss.

Mother's day was last week, I don't celebrate Mother's day. My mum doesn't believe in it, I don't too, ever since I heard her talk about Valentines day it convinced me that those days are just commercialism. I mean if you love your mum then you should love her everyday, why does it have to be that day that you have to love her?

Well I had better pen off, my assignments are heaping up, I need to finish my National TV report then get started on my Critique's essay which is due the day after next and also start answering my journal questions. I should really start aiming to not annoy my classmates with questions on how to do my assignments, but I can't because I'm just too dumb...

I hate cheaters

Life is hard. And it isn't helping when those idiots cheat on their spouses. Everywhere I turn I see friends with parents who were being cheated. I have a friend whose father has a beautiful wife but yet he goes out and found another woman who already has 2 children of her own. He himself has 5 children and he wants to adopt more?? And than just 2 years ago I found that he had broken up with that woman but had brought back another woman who is pregnant with his child. What an idiot! Has he ever thought that this would affect his children's future and their reputations?

As I say: I HATE those selfish, bias, cheating idiots!!

What does he thinks he is doing?

I hate people that doesn't listen to the people that cares for them. Just like Mo didn't listen to Resa when she begged for him to go home to safe his and Meggie's life. But he refused to listen to her because of sheer arrogance and eagerness. So what if his heart is cold blooded now, why can't he listen to Resa and safe their lives before it is too late?!

Why can't my best friend just listen to me and spend the money that would actually help his condition when what he is doing is not helping him?? why does he have to make me worry over him? Can't he see that I have enough to worry about that I don't need to worry over his health too? I worry over what people would see of him at the first sight. I worry over his condition worsening and how it would affect his other organs. Can he at least just listen to me and stop wasting money over something that doesn't helps? He would gain so much more if he just takes my advice!

I don't want to lose a close friend like him.

signing*

I had a crush guy in my class since sem 1, but I never said anything about it. I only told a few friends who were close. Yet another girl from class guessed it out by the way I look at him that made me more cautious while I'm around him. The whole of sem 1 I just dithered over not looking at him much but still I couldn't suppress the feelings I have for him.

During semester 2, I got to know him better. But still I tried to keep my distant.

Sem 3, he came to sit beside me during lecture. I was a little dissapointed when I found out that I wasn't in the same group as he is then but having him beside me was more than enough. He doesn't really talk but I still like sitting beside him.

I know that today will be the last day I can sit beside him and the last day I will be in the same class as him. I didn't pursue him was because I can't bare to fall into depression again. I remember my time when I had to go through depression and I vowed to never ever go there ever again!!